Patience, Thou Art an Elusive Nymph!

Dear Miss Patience,

Hope this finds you in the best of your patience. I write to you with a humble request. In my most testing times, I plead you not to leave me in the lurch. No doubt you have been my constant companion in times of peace, but it is during the turbulent times that I need you the most. Quite ironically, that is when you begin to slip away from me just as dry sand would if I'd try to grasp it.

Mr. Fury is always on the lookout for an opportunity to take your place when you desert me. He acts like a spark of fire in a box of gun powder. No doubt he is a satiating vent, but he cannot be a perpetual means of tackling retards and their boloney. I firmly believe that Mr. Fury must always be the last resort in such situations, and my belief cannot be affirmed without your support. Being the peace loving, non violent person that I am, I would like to give a fair chance to all those imbeciles trying so hard to test my equation with you to rectify their folly (at least once!). I know you have a strong repulsion to hogwash. I share your sentiments and sometimes hope I too could evaporate into thin air, like you do, when confronted with exasperating situations created by infinitely exasperating individuals. Unfortunately, Nature did not grant me that virtue and it solely remains your forte.

I must inform you that the world is full of cretins who knowingly/ unknowingly do things that might perturb even an insane being like me. I do not demand too much from you. But just be in the offing and give me the strength to sympathise with these little jokes of the Almighty instead of plotting to strangle them. I do not want you stick with me all the time. I understand that you too have your limitations after all, and it is only natural for you to lose your 'patience' in the process. So don't worry, I will grant you your vacation to Hawaii when I decide to take charge of things for a while. However, it could be worth a try, to collaborate and generate a bearable level of tolerance in me to maintain world peace. 

P.S. - Honestly, I don't care a hoot for world peace. Stay with me because beating the living daylights out of people is illegal!
~
Yours truly,
Moi.

My Tryst with the Quadrupeds - Vol. II : Felines

"If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat." 
~ Mark Twain

As a child, watching NatGeo, I always wished to get home a tiger's cub. My wish was fulfilled many years later, however, with a few modifications; as what came home in place of a tiger's cub was a cat!

People have numerous apprehensions about cats, and so did I. Many think they are selfish, mean, asocial and even evil. Personally, I was just unaccustomed to the animal and did not know how to befriend it. This was my first ever encounter with this mystifying work of nature.

Mother Nature was obviously in the best of moods while creating the cat. She went overboard with her own abilities and created something which was a masterpiece. Tell me which other creature on four legs is as persnickety, as endowed with a sense of fastidious cleanliness, inimitable grace, immaculate dignity, wise discretion, genuine affection, commendable patience and intrepid courage as this little felid! A cat shows you that it is possible to do just about anything and everything with style. It does not reserve its elegance for special occasions. It perpetually basks in it.

A cat cannot be made a slave of the leash. It lives its life on its own terms. And in a matter of time, every cat owner realises that he does not really 'own' the cat but serves it. The cat, I thus believe, is nature's way of saying that it hasn't created everything to serve man. This is true because a cat doesn't see any reason to obey any other animal, even if it stands on two legs!

A cat, by temperament, is an aloof creature. This does not mean that it detests human company. It is only very individualistic in its being and seeks personal time. And no matter how much you may want to be with it, if a cat needs its own space it will take it. Cats usually groom themselves in this 'my time'. It takes a cat more time to groom itself than it would an average woman. Having groomed itself to its heart's content, the cat then admires itself. They can, by the way, look at and recognise themselves in a mirror. I wouldn't believe this if I hadn't seen it in person. A sense of pride and smug accomplishment definitely oozes from them after their self grooming. What is more fascinating than their narcissism is the fact that they can display their sense of satisfaction so well. Watch a cat sun bathe - Helen of Troy wouldn't look half as beautiful as a cat does while sun bathing!

Cats can sleep for a good 16 hours a day. This also is an activity in their 'time with themselves'. They determine their own sleeping pattern and eating habits, which changes almost every 3-4 months. Cats can eat as many as 2-10 meals in a day. They decide the menu and quantity of food they wish to consume. Cats are adept at conveying this, trust me.

Though they live in domestic society, they are never too far from the wild. Cats never give up the inherent felidae instincts. This is apparent in a lot of their daily activities, for instance their fetish for digging the spot where they relieve themselves and filling it up again so as not to leave behind a trace of their presence. Their soft paws make it possible for them to move in an absolutely soundless manner all the time. Cats are blessed with an amazing sense of judgement of distance - another felidae trait - which enables them to carry out impressive acrobatic feats around the house without causing any damage atleast 9/10 times. They measure distances with the help of their whiskers and brows. Even while jumping up and down they will maintain their poise, and will glance at you complacently after a perfect flight or landing.The feral side of a cat is most visible when they are in their hunter-prey mode. A cat will prey upon anything from a moth to a lizard to a rat to a dog! It will play this game with any dangling object or even your legs if you have the restless legs syndrome. In short, a cat is only a tiger that socialises.

A household that consists of a cat soon learns that the cat is an independent member of the family. It has a mind and will of its own. It will, under no circumstances, obey you. You will, on the other hand, be the obsequious attendant at the beck and call of thy royal highness. It is no point making it's bed or for that matter serving food to it at a place you think is appropriate. They decide where they will dine and sleep. And in all possibilities it may be a different spot every time! Don't be surprised if the brat wants to eat on the dining table at the time you have your meals.

A cat can sit still and observe you for hours at a stretch. Its gaze feels like that of a martinet closely watching you with censure because it conveys a lot with its expressions. Cats possess the ability to display over 100 facial expressions, all of which are distinct and recognisable. My favourite expressions are the "I-know-I'm-upto-no-good-and-I'd-like-to-see-you-stop-me" and "you-really-thought-I'd-listen-to-you". You have to see to understand how I could put words into those expressions. A cat needs no words to talk.

They will tear apart your pillows, break your china, spill the milk, prick their claws into the mats, climb upto the pelmet with the help of the curtain, reduce your newspaper to bits before you have even looked at it, sip water from your glass, rip apart your soft toys, wake you up in the middle of the night to be fed, jump atop the refrigerator just out of curiosity, settle in your microwave oven because that looks like unexplored territory, slap the television when they see something moving on the screen, try to dig your bathroom floor, pull the flush non-stop to study the flow of water in the commode, fight with your hair, scratch you, mount you, and snuggle into your bedding every night as per their comfort and convenience. Yet you will only bow down with immeasurable love for your cat and do everything you can to please it.

Despite its autocratic nature, and its instinctive will to rule and dominate, a cat will love you. Not as its master, but it will love you nevertheless. It does not explicitly display emotion or fawn over you like your dog would, but it is probably a more intelligent and understanding animal. It believes in the adage that actions speak louder than words and does express its affection for you in ways it deems subtle and suitable to its royal demeanour. Why else would it sit inside your suitcase and not let you pack for a trip, come racing to the door the minute it hears the knob turn - and then, however, regain its sangfroid once you are in view, sulk and sit on your baggage when you return from a trip, wait on the bed or dresser all the while you bathe, and hate your laptop or phone because you don't play with it while you are working or talking?

A cat may treat you as a means to its comfort and sit in your lap probably because it seems a warmer haven than its bed at the moment, but it certainly makes you a more sensitive person in more than one way and changes you for the better. Humans have never enjoyed being subservient, but being so with a cat makes us happy. You can't help looking at it with the benign fondness of a parent looking at its utterly spoilt child waiting for it to enunciate its next whim. I believe it is impossible to talk about cats without sounding a little insane, but I'd suggest play hide-and-seek with a cat and catch hold of it in its frenzy. Cuddle it and look it in its eyes. In return for that moment of joy you will never want to be sane again!

(My humble attempt at expressing the immense happiness that came into our lives when Leo happened to us!)

~

My Tryst with the Quadrupeds - Vol. I : Canines

"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened."
~
Anatole France

Ever wondered why dogs did not evolve into human beings? Well, the answer is simple - so that human beings could retain the element of humanity in them. Those with no exposure in this front are free to differ in opinion. But that, however, does not change the truth.

Research has proven that dogs are blessed with the power of healing when it comes to human maladies. Patients who've had dogs for company while convalescing have witnessed faster recovery from their ailments. In certain cases when doctors had given up hope, it was the quadruped that acted as the elixir of life. Dogs slow the process of ageing in humans. They imbue in you an unconscious state of happiness. You do not know where it comes from but it becomes a part of you; as inseparable as the source of that happiness.

A dog will love you more than it loves itself; and will do so without a trace of hesitation and that love grows at an unending pace with the passage of time. Notwithstanding what you are to the world, to your dog you will be the world. There is no feeling in this universe better than that of knowing that your darling canine will await your return at the doorstep, no matter what time of the day or night it may be. It will come running to you with a welcome hug exuding unwavering affection. And trust me, simple though it seems in these words, it will indeed mean the world to you when it really happens. You will have yet another incentive to go back home.

Believe it or not, dogs can sense human moods and emotions and in turn get affected by the same. If you are a little low someday your pet will definitely sense it, and its anti-depressant defence mechanism will automatically begin to work. That ball of fur will do just about anything to make you happy. It will catch your attention, compel you to chase it, maybe it'll chase you or playfully gnaw at your hands! A simple pat on its head, or a little cuddling will do the trick. And before you realise, you are already a part of the game the little brute started. All stress busters take a back seat once your doggy sweetheart takes up the task to itself to de-stress you.

Its not just a give-give relation with dogs, or for that matter with any animal that humans interact with. Dogs are like babies that never grow up. They have to be cradled, fussed about with and taken care of - always. In the process of rearing a puppy to a dog we humans go through a transition in our outlook towards life. When you fend for an animal you realise the virtue of selfless service. Getting home a pet dog or simply taking care of one is an act that arises out of pure compassion (unless you are a breeder and do this to earn your livelihood) in human beings. It evokes in us the feeling of giving without expecting. It shows us the real meaning of unconditional love. With time we tend to bury these feelings deep within and forget them in the furious pace of our busy lives; but our dogs make sure to dig them out and give us blissful contentment. Very few things in life come remotely close to replicating this strange euphoria.

If you are a dog lover, you know exactly what I am talking about. If not, well, you will get the essence of what I am trying to convey only once you experience the rapture, if and when you do; and I sincerely hope that you do. I say this because I could have bought a small yacht with what I spent on my dog and all the things he destroyed. Then again, how many yachts wait by the door all day for your return?

(Dedicated to my darling son, Snow)

~

Randomness

It was just another day for me. I got down from the local train and was spanning the seemingly vast length of the platform towards the foot-over bridge - cursing the guy who placed the ladies first class compartment at the other end. It was then that I happened to overhear, quite unintentionally, something very queer. Something that strangely remains vivid in my memory.

They were two men - one, an aged man with grey hair, the other much younger. Standing just where the platform ended, and the steps of the footover bridge began, the two men were - very seriously - debating about something. On getting closer, I realised that they were weighing the possible alternatives of exiting the railway station. The old man told the younger one, "Let's not cross the tracks. The police will catch us." The other rebutted, " Are you crazy? Nobody will lay a hand on us. Everyone crosses the tracks, and nobody gets caught. Now stop wasting time, and come." The old man still a little unsure about something, thought for a couple of seconds and then acquiesced, muttering to himself, "Yes, and we won't be the only ones to get caught after all..."

I stepped onto the bridge steps exactly at the same time that those two began crossing the tracks; and I saw those two clambering over the barricade a few seconds after I descended the bridge. I had always believed that people chose to cross railway tracks instead of using the bridge because that took them lesser time. I never as much as even thought of crossing the tracks myself. But today, this myth was busted anyway; and I walked homeward wondering what was the worth of human life in the eyes of a human being today. If at all somebody chose not to cross the railway tracks, would it be just to avoid getting nabbed by the police and not because you actually care for your life? What can drill the essence of life in the heads of such cretins?

~

Power Lies Within

N.B. The following is a topical essay, the subject of which concerns the Indian youth, the young political leaders and the influence that these young leaders have over young voters with regard to enticing them to cast votes and eventually bring about a change in the world we live in (written a few months back with reference to the latest Lok Sabha elections).

The government of a country plays the most important role in shaping the character of a nation. In a democracy it’s the people who elect their representatives to form the government. For ages India has witnessed the oligopoly of a select few politicians who claim to be the guardians of the largest democracy in the world; and the results have invariably been less than satisfactory. Of course there have been significant reforms and developments in various sectors, but they appear grand only in isolation.

‘Politics’ in India is synonymous to corruption, crime and dishonesty, at least in the minds of the common youth. And to a great extent this perception is justified. What does one expect from the system where people with past and current criminal records are allowed to contest elections, and are even elected! This has created a disregard in the minds of the youth towards their most important right – the right to vote! To vote and elect one’s representatives is the essence of a democracy. Thus the concept of ‘enticing’ young voters must be extricated from our thought process. If one has to be enticed to vote, it is time that the country as a whole reflects upon its existence as a democracy. Whether young or not, urban or rural, it’s the basic responsibility of the citizens of a democracy to VOTE. A person who abstains from voting has no business to question the system or detect flaws in its functioning. Mahatma Gandhi gave us a message many years ago, ‘You must be the change you wish to see in the world’, and change we must be. As members of the largest democracy in the world we must safeguard our country by preparing and electing suitable representatives to administer the nation and lead us all onto the path of overall development in an honest manner.

Indian politics has become more of a business than a service for most politicians. The sudden ‘hype’ surrounding young political leaders is not really so sudden if one carefully traces the roots of this drive. The search and awareness of young politicians is a very sensitively executed movement by various forms of media in the country.

Today we can say that India is waking up to the need for a change. After all, ‘the first step towards creating a better life is to develop the ability to envision it’. And most of this awakening is happening among the Indian youth. As regards demography, India is a young country with majority of its population being under 30 years of age. Thus we see a shift in the mass opinion. The forthcoming Assembly elections will have the largest number of first time voters. A realization has dawned upon the youth that change is what we need today. A change in the system, a change in the nation’s outlook and finally a change in leadership. The nation is convinced that any change, will certainly be a change for the better. It is not change for good that one yearns for at this point, it is change for the better.

~

Adieu MJ

26th June, 2009 began on a sad note for me. The morning bulletin broke the news of Michael Jackson's death to the world. Unexpected and shocking as it was, this revelation was very sad as well. Having been someone as successful and as popular world over as MJ, such an end is very anti-climatic.

MJ's death surely has his fans in a chasm of depression and sadness. I'm not glorifying his rather controversial life, but he must be respected for the good work he has done, for which the world worshiped him at a point time (I'm sure a lot of people still do). He was an amazingly talented artiste and his music is testimony to that. As a child, I remember allusions being made to MJ's dances. One would lose count of the number of people who imitated his dance moves. His albums and singles have had record-breaking stats, and he was the proud winner of multiple Grammys. 'Shattering' is the word that describes this feeling when one hears of another tragic end of a legend.

Hours after his death, the investigating authorities in the USA seem to have detected foul play in the sudden and mysterious death of the Pop King. Is this what a star deserves? And all this happened just days before his comeback concerts kicked off. This is not the kind of farewell the world would have wanted to give to their favourite pop icon. At this point I recall the scene when MJ visited Mumbai. I was very young then but I remember the frenzy. People went berserk, scores of girls squealed till they collapsed. Such was the magic created by this Pop King.

I pray that MJ's soul rests in peace, as one of the world's most widely beloved entertainers of all times, leaves an indelible mark on pop music & culture... and in our hearts.

Bless your soul MJ, you will always be with us.

~

My First Vote

Today is a special day for all the candidates who's constituencies go to the polls in the third phase of the 2009 Lok Sabha elections. It is a memorable day for me as well. I went to cast my first vote today with my mother who quite ironically also cast her first vote today. Mom is an aware and responsible citizen who can talk sense about anything remotely to do with politics, but unfortunately due to some or the other reason she could not make it to the electoral roll earlier.

The entire process was quite simple. I went in with my identification proof, got my finger inked, and cast my secret ballot. It all happened in a minute. But the sense of being a responsible Indian and having done my duty lingers even after. There is a different sense of belonging now, one that is much stronger than what I have ever felt.

~

Strange Memories

It was May in the year 1991, when Rajiv Gandhi as Prime Minister, came to Muzaffarpur - a town in Bihar - to deliver a speech to locals as part of the election campaign for the INC. The programme was organised in a large open field in Chakkar Maidan. A special bullet proof glass case, well equipped with loudspeakers and microphones, was arranged for. The roads had been cleaned laboriously, and barks of all trees in the town had been smartly painted in the typical 'geru' and white colour. In short, Muzaffarpur was ready to welcome the Prime Minister.

On the scheduled day, Rajiv Gandhi arrived in a helicopter, dressed in white kurta-pyjama. Quite a crowd had gathered to listen to him. People were seated in front of his podium on the ground. A lot of people were standing. A few others were at the boundaries of the ground. among these few others was a family of 4, consisting of a husband, a wife, a daughter and the wife's younger sister. The daughter was 1 and a half years old. The little girl could not understand anything but she could hear a fair man in white clothes speaking from a glass case. Her mother told her that the case was bullet proof. This was all she remembered of that incident.

A few years later that girl, for some strange reason, thought that she had heard Mr. P.V. Narsimha Rao speak in her town that day. A possible explanation for this belief could be that Mr. Rao was the Prime Minister then, and most politicians dressed in white clothes. It was only when her mother clarified that she realised who it actually was. The girl was to learn after a few years that Rajiv Gandhi had been assassinated just a few days after he delivered that speech in Muzaffarpur.

Being a typical north Indian family, which migrated to Bombay in 1994, politics was a special interest and a topic of regular discussion in that girl's family. But still nothing can explain why and how that girl remembers that particular incident so vividly till date. It's not that it was an episode which she was reminded of regularly, but then such things do happen in life. People do remember strange or particular incidents of their childhood. Such was the case about Rajiv Gandhi's speech in 1991 which that little girl (who is no more little now) remembered and will always remember.

~

When At the Movies

People who truly savour the occasion of watching films have certain set ideas about their seats. It is seen that top row seats are the hottest in demand and are the first ones to be sold out. My family and I are movie aficionados and we try and watch as many films as we can, together. Luckily for us, there is a very comfortable theatre at walking distance from our residence, and off late that has become the only theatre we go to. I have been the one who got tickets at a majority of occasions. I used to feel lucky on learning that the top row seats were still not booked and would grab them immediately. But after a few instances in the top row, my preference has changed from 'top row' to 'anything but top row'. The reason is simple. There are always late comers to movies, always. And these late comers, instead of seeking help from the ushers, like to probe into the darkness with the help of seats, and the people seated on them. they will invariably kick the seats (I wonder how), especially the ones in the top row, as that is the common passage to all the seats. Imagine, you are engrossed in the film, the story is opening up, you have settled down with your companions and popcorn and suddenly - just as you are about to hear the opening dialogue, you get a good jerk on your seat from a dear late comer. There's not much you can do about it besides grumbling and cursing the culprit. Such offenders very conveniently forget to apologise, I doubt if they even entertain the thought. In fact some of them return with an encore to give you a harder kick because their seat is on the other side. The late comer has finally found his seat and is now getting into the movie, probably by pestering his neighbour to tell him all that he has missed. And you are completely disoriented and it takes you another 15 minutes to get back into the film.

Its not that I hate late comers to movies; its their misbehaviour that irks me. I have been late only once for a movie, but trust me I did not as much as come close to a seat while foraging for my seat, forget about giving the already seated audience jerks. That's precisely the reason I don't understand how people manage to 'kick' seats. I mean, you are supposed to be walking for heaven's sake! Have some courtesy! Or maybe that's how the average man is today- inconsiderate and discourteous, and I'm only expecting the impossible... yes, I guess I am. Because when you don't have late arrivals, you have these great souls who, in the middle of a movie, will suddenly want to stretch their lower limbs and land a nice push onto your seat. And its not just 'a' push that I'm talking about; its a series of pushes and kicks that goes on till the great soul is satisfied. Such is the disregard in the minds of the masses about others' convenience, such is their selfishness and such is their ill-mannered, ill-bred and uncouth bearing. All this comes out from such small incidences that I fear to dwell upon bigger happenings of social life.

Well the long and short of the story is that i have now begun to seek seats which are a little away from the top row. The guy at the ticket counter gives me strange looks sometimes wondering if I'm a novice into theatres. But let him think what he wants to. I do not believe in spending money to watch a film only to get kicked by late arrivals.

~

A Small Ray of Hope

All creatures were created with a view to adorn the only planet in the Universe which could sustain life. We all had our share of the land, air and water; everything was arranged for peaceful co-existence. Why then have we reached an age where Man harbours only and only intolerance towards all other species?

Man was bestowed with superior capabilities by the Creator to uphold and ensure the well-being of all creatures - big or small. But what did Man do? He defied each and every aspect of that well crafted, ideal plan of sustenance. He pillaged the natural resources beyond limits, ravaged the flora and fauna, divided land, water and air, and eventually ended up evolving from an ape into a detestable greedy and selfish creature, not worthy of being called human.

Man only thought of his pleasures, his entertainment and his convenience. Thus he resorted to needless hunting of animals and felling of trees. There are numerous episodes which penetrate my heart like a sword. Episodes of cruelty to animals, fellow humans and indiscriminate wastage of life and resources. Just see where we have reached today. We are at a stage of deterioration and soon this blessed planet (which it was) will succumb to our deeds. We have taken mother nature for granted, polluted the environment and succeeded in depleting the ozone layer. At this point in time, there is only a feeling of despair in my mind; and I desperately wish that we had not become what we have become, and the world would have remained that ideal world in which Adam and Eve had lived. But what stays with me is my small ray of hope, as our continuous degeneration blurs my horizon.

~