Missing School

(Post originally written on 25/07/2009)

Many a time I have found myself pondering over the kind of people one comes across in the course of one's life. I can't say about others, but I have particularly been unfortunate with my acquaintances; I call them acquaintances because I was never given a chance to consider a lot of people as my friends. And, mind you, I'm very fastidious about acquaintances who become friends, because not everyone can be a friend; they have to be special.

As a child, I was always on the look out for a friend; everyone wants and needs friends. I always saw children in twos and threes pattering around claiming to be each other's 'best friends' and wondered if I'd ever have a 'best' friend; I was to soon realise that I have no friends leave aside best friends. In my school, it was a general trend that students sitting together in clusters of four would become fast friends. This was quite a comfortable arrangement, the only drawback being that lest your place be changed or should you be shifted to another section the next year (which usually happened) you would have to make a new set of fast friends. This in particular would sadden my heart, because quite unlike others I would grow fond of my so-called friends.

Also, there would always be a bully in class who would attract all girls to herself, leaving me with two options - either to follow the bully or loiter alone. I frankly don't remember what I used to do. As if this mentally taxing stupidity was not enough, a girl whom I was finally coming to believe to be my friend suddenly stopped coming to school. After a few days I began to panic and asked another girl from her vicinity about her, only to learn that she had shifted residence. For sometime I couldn't believe it was true, but who cared about me!

There were girls in school with whom I was supposedly friends but the next year they refused to recognise me (the general trend , remember?). I mean, come on, did those girls ever realise what they were doing. I longed for a "hi" from my best friend, but she chose to look through me and went right across my face with someone else. Okay, I did not want you to spend the lunch break with me, but does a 'hi' take so long? I spent seven years in this 'great' school, every year hoping that someone would be different and would be my friend for more than an year, but all I was being was hopelessly optimistic.

I was to shift residence after my eighth grade. My new residence was very far away from the present one, so that meant I had to change my school as well. I was in quite a dilemma regarding this, because I was not used to shifting schools very often and resistance to change is human tendency after all. But I had to shift. And so I did, with a heavy heart. And without telling anyone about it. Anyone but a couple of girls who were my friends, mainly because we lived in the same vicinity and travelled to and back from school together. I kept my 'shift of residence' a quiet episode simply because I thought nobody would be interested in knowing whether or not I'd join them the next term. I think I was quite right.

But as they say what goes around, comes around. After I finished my high school, for my graduation I secured admission in a college which was in the same vicinity as my previous school. On my first day to college, just one glance around the place was enough to realise that the place was swarmed with the girls whom I had left behind four years back. Not surprisingly, nobody recognised me. Maybe a few did, I could make out from the expressions. But that was all. No conversations ensued. So much for old times' sake.

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